I love my dentist.

Not in a weird way, I just really love that he is so nice, so chipper, so fun and so understanding.
I had several fillings (and by several I mean 11. Talk about frozen face!) worked on over a month ago now and for the last few weeks one of them has been bothering me. Usually my teeth are a bit sensitive to hot/cold/pressure for a while after being filled, however this little doozey of a tooth has been throbbing enough to bring me to tears this morning. Ouch! So, after my dad made me call the dentist’s office, I went in for a quick check. My dentist was so nice to squeeze a quick appointment in and we may be on the way to solve this toothache problem.
So I’ve established that I like and appreciate my dentist, right? He’s great, the office is pleasant, I never feel any pain when I’m there…then why is it that as soon as I slip into that teal, vinyl reclined chair I get super tense and nervous? I end up clutching the chair arms as if I wanted them to become physically melded to my own arms. After an X-ray or an easy freezing and they make me wait a few minutes until they can proceed, I find my hands shaky and my breath coming quick as I turn the pages of my Home & Garden or Flare magazines.
Why? There is nothing that should make me feel this way. I couldn’t ask for a nicer dentist, calmer offfice or gentler proceedures. Why do I become like a small child facing an hour or two of torture by scary twisted metal machines that buzz and grind?
I honestly try to overcome this mental deficiency, try to take my mind to a calm place and tell myself everything is ok and I’m in no pain or even discomfort, which is the truth. Yet my body just can’t accept that truth and it reacts by a rush of frightened and apprehensive adrenaline.
I even tried to think about a place where I was last totally relaxed and take myself there while I received 6 fillings in one sitting. (The Kingfisher after a wonderful hydrotherapy spa exxperience. SO nice!) That just didnt’ work. Only for a fraction of a second did I feel myself slipping into a more relaxed state but the grinding and comments from my lovely dentist brought me back to reality as I lay in the teal torture seat.
Ah well, I may never feel okay at the dentist. I know I’ll be back, fairly soon probably, so I should work on it more. I’ll try, gosh darn it, I’ll try. My porr dentist. I hope he never reads this. It’s not his fault. I’ll try. I’ll try…

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