Join me for a series on my blog entitled “Dear Date…” 
where I share my insights and anecdotes into the exciting and often frustrating world of dating.


Previous topics in my “Dear Date…” series:
Are you Ready? Communication is Important! Internet Dating Dos & Don’ts.  Venue & Conversation Tips. And the most important…First Lesson: Have a Job.”

Yes, I am in my thirties.
And no, I have not ever been close to being engaged, or married.
I am single.

Yes, that’s right, I am single and not only am I in my thirties, I am exactly in my mid-thirties!
When did that happen?!?

Being in my thirties and single feels like being inside a black hole or the Kalahari desert.
Way off in the distance there is a glimmer or hope, of civilization, but where I am now it feels like no one understands. It feels lonesome, scary and a flickering contrast between being in the stark blinding spotlight or in the eerie blackness of invisibility.

Sometimes it even kind of feels like I’m a oddity at some old-timey side show.A man with a greasy mustache should be barking out to the crowd, “Step right up folks, behind this here curtain you will see a wonder of wonders, the very unique and rarely-before seen creature ever you laid eyes upon….it’s the one and only, heavily endangered Thirty-Something Singleton! Yes, we have ourselves a real odd ball you ain’t never gonna see anywheres else! Pay yer quarter and take a gander at ‘er!”

I know it’s not all that bad.

But some days it sure feels like I’m some alien that no one can comprehend.

My single 30’s brain and heart work and tick so differently from everyone else.
They try to understand, oh yes, they try, but some days we need to flip through the yellow pages and find that ever-elusive ad for a single-to-non-single language and feelings interpreter.

You see, if you’ve been married or are married, young or old, you tend to forget what it’s like.
Or you never even knew what it was like because you’ve never spent this many single years on your own.
You’ve never watched every one of your friends get married and have kids.

Or if you have been married and now find yourself single and in your 30s, I’m sure you feel similarly confused and mislabeled.
Are you a “family” person now? Or back to being with the “singles” crowd?
And most of the “singles” around you are still in their 20s and either still in school or too young to even think about marriage yet.

Being single and 30-something is a rarity, and it is esspecially compounded by being single and Christian and 30-something! The veritable dating “pool” around you is shrinking eponentially by the milisecond or it does not even exist.
I’m not in my 20’s anymore.
I’m not interested in dating forever or just for fun.
Most importantly, I’m not willing to sacrifice my beliefs just to settle down for the sake of just having someone.

I’m single. And I’m okay with that fact.

For now.

Dear Date, if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t lose hope!

It’s a desert out here, but on the horizon I see an oasis….or is it another mirage?

At the moment, I can’t tell…but it’s something.

(* As always, these amazing illustrations are courtesy of one of my favourite websites: